Autumn has swooped in like a murder of crows, cawing reminders for their daily share of peanuts or better yet, scraps from last night’s dinner. They wait patiently until I step out the front door onto my porch, tossing the tidbits to the front lawn. Then they coo and cluck and caw and wait for me to retreat, a subtle reminder that while they trust me to feed them, they prefer to dine without spectators.
What is Autumn reminding me of this year?
Autumn is reminding me that life never stays the same. The seasons change, the Moon is ever changing, the Sun’s path arcs across the horizon throughout the year rising further north in the summer, and further south in the winter.
Life is no different. And the sooner we accept this and flow with the rhythm, the easier it will be to gracefully accept that some decisions and actions and events are out of our control, and that’s not always a bad thing.
It’s been a busy year, filled with all sorts of emotions, progress, regress, trips, and loved ones coming and going.
But the Moon still waxes and wanes. The Sun still rises and sets. The leaves still peak, the flowers bloom and die. Life goes on.
Janina Grey experienced life altering changes throughout the last few years, and it’s taken me this long to process and move forward. I lost my father the day after my birthday back in 2023, and two beloved friends to cancer over the last couple of years, and at that point I decided it was time to retreat from the world and figure out who I was and what I wanted in life.
I’ve spent the last two years traveling, writing poetry, scheduling book-signing events, contributing to anthologies, and focusing on my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. I’ve even started studying Scot Gaelic! I’m still working full time, and I’ve expanded my work responsibilities at my day job while seriously considering retiring next year.
One of the most inspiring activities I’ve participated in has been helping a very special woman realize her powerful poetic voice. I watched her spread her wings and soar, not like a robin or crow or eagle even, but like a Boeing 747. I read her words and showed her that she no longer needed to whisper into the hands she’d cupped over her face as she struggled to make sense of it all. She could now shout out her truths and reclaim her power. She reminded me of my own power, and my love of writing. Something I’d lost sight of over the last couple years.
And while I wasn’t full on writing as Janina Grey, I kept busy in the writing community with the anthologies, my poetry, my Ghostwriters Critique buddies (lifelines, soulsisters from other misters), and reading! It felt good to read again! I always looked at reading as a luxury, but it’s become a priority and it is such an important part of my self care!
I’d peek here once in a while and couldn’t find anything to write. I’d look at the list of To-Do’s I have pinned up in full view, trying to decide which author responsibility I would tackle first, but it was all so overwhelming. I concentrated on journaling, writing haiku, taking photographs, and just rediscovering myself.
Then I realized that I hadn’t quit. The Universe was telling me to slow down, to take my own advice and understand that Life is for the Living, and that it was okay to give Janina Grey a rest.
So, now my rest is over. I’m excited to be back. And like the leaves on the maple trees outside my window, I’m ready for change. I’m querying agents, redesigning my website and newsletter, and I’m now working on IN THE NAME OF LOVE while I wait for an agent to scoop me up.
I’m also going to be uploading my Earth and Sky Series to Amazon as an Indie Author. That is exciting, exhilarating, and petrifying all at the same time! I’ve always enjoyed the cushy coziness of having a publisher do everything for me. I miss Soul Mate Publishing but I have to stop grieving and embrace life again.
As a young witchling more than two decades ago, I learned a chant.
She changes everything she touches and everything she touches changes.
Now it’s time for me to live that lesson, let go of my fear, and remember that life is for living, and it’s time to live it.
