On or around October 1 our house begins the transition from summer to Autumn, from the last vestiges of light into the cloak of darkness that embraces our hemisphere for the next six months.
Our regular decor is replaced with witches, skeletons, ghosts, a creepy village, pumpkins, witches hats, and lots of other spooky fun things.
The outside is battened down for the winter, the fireplace kicks on, and out come the warm comfy clothes, the blankets folded and resting on the arms of the sofa and chairs. Hot cocoa, warm teas, soups simmering on the stove, the smell of burning leaves in the air. And can’t forget David’s own tribute to the season, his graveyard and buddies strategically placed around our yard, welcoming all who dare to come by.
We begin October with the fun side of spooky, as we prepare for the more popular mainstream event of Halloween. David likes to come up with different costumes, and is encouraged by his awesome work crew at Slocum where each year they have department themes and the whole Slocum crew gets into decorating and dressing up.
We usually go to my sister’s for Halloween and give out candy and eat pizza. It’s a tradition we started in 2003 and have carried it out since.
I usually dress up as a . . . you guessed it. Witch. *cackles* Some people can’t understand why I dress up each year as a witch. I tell them that this is the only day of the year I get to be myself in public and wear my witchy hat and cloak and people don’t run in fear from me.
While Halloween might seem like my favorite holiday, actually, it’s not. There is a day I enjoy more than Halloween this time of year, and that is Samhain.
Samhain is the crossquarter day marking the midpoint between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice. To me this is a most holy day, when we acknowledge loved ones who have passed before us. It’s not even a day, it’s more of a season. We embrace the coming darkness, welcoming the respite and peace and slower pace of life it brings. We listen for signs and whispers from those on the other side.
We celebrate this most sacred time with an event called our Ancestors’ Supper. This is our version of The Dumb Supper, but times change and that name feels a bit offensive. It was called the Dumb Supper originally because it is an event held in complete silence as we acknowledge our ancestors. We still keep the code of silence and honoring our ancestors, but we’ve changed up the name a bit.
Everyone who gathers brings a dish/drink/dessert that is connected to the loved one they are remembering that night. All the dishes are left in the kitchen, where we gather to share our stories about our loved ones. Then we fill a plate for the dead, which we place at the end of the table (Dead Head), and then we fill our plates and cups and join them for the meal-which is eaten in complete silence.
Yes, complete silence. This time is taken to recall memories, listen for messages, or just ‘be.’ We supply paper and pens for anyone who gets a message or is inclined to write a poem or reflections.
The table is set in black: black cloth, black napkins, black dinnerware, drinking ware, flatware. We have an Ancestors’ Altar set up also, where guests can light a candle and leave a photo or memento of the loved one they are honoring.
So take some time this October to call on your Ancestors. You don’t have to have an elaborate dinner. You can just grab a cuppa, pull up their picture and have a heart to heart with them. Remember their laughter, a gem of wisdom they shared, a good time. Then hug them in your heart and remember them with love.
If this time of year is scary for you, remember that the living are more dangerous than the dead.
Blessed Samhain!
Janina Grey 