(October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month)
Who are we and where did we come from?
For many that answer is cut and dried. For the rest of us, its a collage, a kaleidoscope, a Picasso of blurry, abstract puzzle pieces we’ve either intentionally or unintentionally tossed into boxes in the back of our minds.
Some of us block things out and attribute it to a bad memory or just how the mind works. How can you remember anything from when you were 3 or 4 years old? Right? Right.
Others remember only the bad stuff, and live a life on guard or on offense because they need to be ready for whatever bad stuff is heading their way.
Others remember only the good times and go through life wearing rose colored glasses. (That was me.)
As adults, my sisters and I exemplified all those scenarios.
I work with survivors of domestic and sexual abuse and I see this often with the predominantly women I share space with on a regular basis. When the memories come flooding back it’s painful. But, if you’re ready, it can be healing. Life altering. Transformational.
I tell these brave women to tell their stories. Journal it, shout it, sing it, write it, whisper it, think it, paint it, sculpt it. Do what you have to do to get it out. Holding it in makes us sick. Holding it in makes us want to hide behind the shame, the guilt, the fear. Letting it out, letting it go, gives us freedom, strength, resilience. And these things are what we can build our foundation for tomorrow on. Better to build up on the life lessons, then let them weigh you down and bury you like a ton of bricks.
Telling our truths can unshackle us from victim mode and gives us the key we need to free ourselves and embrace who we truly are: survivors.
Last weekend, I had the opportunity to share my story for the first time in my life in front of people. Some I knew, some I did not know. It was scary, but standing there surrounded by people who related, who shared similar journeys, who loved me, gave me the fortitude I needed to get through it.
The event was called Solidarity, and it was put together by Kat Schafer and Alexandra Tamburro, owner of Main Street Mercantile, in Little Falls. The shop was cleared to make room for an art exhibit presenting stories from survivors of all ages and walks of life. Their stories are heart wrenching, empowering, and real.
I present these to you now, because the effort and courage and creativity they put forth needs to be shared. Kat says she is contemplating doing a traveling exhibit of sorts. This is good.
Together, Survivors can change the world.
That’s called Solidarity.
Crowd Shots
were on hand to educate and help people who may have been triggered by the stories shared.
One in three women and one in seven men will be subjected to Domestic Violence in their life time.
One in three women will experience sexual abuse in her lifetime.
Silence = Violence. Speak Up.
Join the YWCA Mohawk Valley on Tuesday, October 22, at 7 Rutger Park, Utica for their annual TAKE BACK THE NIGHT RALLY, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.
If you need to talk to someone about Domestic Violence and you live in Oneida County, NY call the YWCA Mohawk Valley at 315.797.7740
In Herkimer County, call Catholic Charities at 315.894.9917
In the United States call: 800.799.7233
If you are a victim of Sexual Abuse in Oneida or Herkimer Counties, call: 315.797.7740.
Nationally, call 800.656.4673.
Get help. You do not have to struggle alone. We are here to help you.
It’s called Solidarity.
Janina Grey 